tired ...

doing the best I can and let God do the rest .. is all I hear from people. Wonder if they really feel what I feel and do what I do????!!!

It's been so long since I feel truly happy about someone or something. As I go through what I've been through, sometimes I deny the negative feelings I feel and tried my best to feel joy instead ... like nothing happened, hopping I feel the joy ... but then, at the end of the day, I am tired. Feel like crying but can't cry ... it sucks

looking back to the past ... I miss all my friends around. I realize that what I need in times like this is FRIENDS. I miss the shoulders I used to lean on when I need to cry, I miss the smiles I used to receive when I need courage, I miss the jokes when I wanted to laugh, I miss all those ... I truly miss that.

Will I ever smile again ... sincerely? Can I trust anyone again someday? Will I ever find someone who's sincere? Can I? Can I?????