BIRTHDAY

Birthdays used to be my most favorite moment of life; lots and lots of gifts and cakes, until I took some time to think just about it ... birthdays are actually a count down to your life to the end hahahahah ... how scary.

n'ways, that's not the point. The point is ... I got to start with "what my future life would be" then do something about it to make it real.

Isn't it????

L . O . V . E

It's quite funny yet it open my mind ... I guess.
I was trying to get to sleep one night, so as I was lying down on my bed in the dark I fetched my phone next to me and turned on the radio. A conversation on true love by some people got my attention, for it was never come cross my mind a thought such it ...
"love doesn't hurt" ... I heard this million times, but I never really give attention on what it actually meant until this girl on the radio talked... "love would never hurt ... when someone claims he/she loves you yet he/she hurts your feeling, don't believe, for it's not love"
Thinking about it ... what have I been having then??

tired ...

doing the best I can and let God do the rest .. is all I hear from people. Wonder if they really feel what I feel and do what I do????!!!

It's been so long since I feel truly happy about someone or something. As I go through what I've been through, sometimes I deny the negative feelings I feel and tried my best to feel joy instead ... like nothing happened, hopping I feel the joy ... but then, at the end of the day, I am tired. Feel like crying but can't cry ... it sucks

looking back to the past ... I miss all my friends around. I realize that what I need in times like this is FRIENDS. I miss the shoulders I used to lean on when I need to cry, I miss the smiles I used to receive when I need courage, I miss the jokes when I wanted to laugh, I miss all those ... I truly miss that.

Will I ever smile again ... sincerely? Can I trust anyone again someday? Will I ever find someone who's sincere? Can I? Can I?????