Saturday, April 3, 2010

He understands

sometimes we fell there's no way out
no more time, and it's too late
He never lied, He always keep his words
for those who believe in him, miracles happen
He understand, He cares
all the things that we are going through
all that He ask is for us to trust in him
and wait 'till miracles happen

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Another Trial Comes ...

often I take life for granted.. often I ignore the most important thing to make me well... often I take things too simple ... and when I get the result of my ignorance to what is good, I tend to stress and regret.
it was long time ago when I realize that I have a bump inside my breast. I asked my mom, then she said it was nothing, probably because u'll have your period soon. then I ignore and didn't take it too seriously. then it was last Saturday night when I felt unwell, I ask some lady to massage me. it happen that she touched the part where the bump was, surprisingly I found it (the bump) was still there. i was panic and I couldn't stop thinking something is wrong with my body. after a long wait, I then finally got the chance to check to a doctor. guys, it was a tumor. all this time I have a tumor in my breast and I don't know????? I was pale, I was shaking hearing to his explanation, not to forget that taking it out through an operation is the only way safe. a moment I thought ... ohhh God, what more now???
all I need now is to have the strength to take it all and to go through this.

Monday, December 28, 2009

the first born child

If I could turn back time, I wanted to be the last born child.
If I could turn back time, I wanted to be born in any other culture background but batak.
If I could turn back time, I didn't want to help my sister get married with her husband.
If I could turn back time, I would do anything I wish without anybody's opinion.
and I hate to admit that I can't turn back time.

what is it to be the first born child, when u feel heavy burden????
what is it to have an overseas diploma, If you don't make as much money as those with local diploma????
what is it to be pretty, if u can't be with someone u love????
what is it to have so much money, but u don't live happy????
what is it to have parents with a huge ambition, and not care what the children need????

why can't people stop thinking about money, position, and pride???

too bad, I can only complaints, and cry all by my self and still have to follow what is told.

Monday, October 12, 2009

can you fall for the "wrong" person?

a note from my friend, he sent this for he knows we all need to know this ... enjoy the reading :)

We’ve all done this at least once, falling for the wrong person. Am thinking again, though. What does it mean to fall for the wrong person? Does it mean that the person wasn’t right for us? What makes a person right or wrong for us?

Falling for the wrong person could mean falling for your professor when you are his student. Falling for the wrong person could mean being infatuated with a 18-year-old friend when you are 32 years old. Falling for the wrong person could mean being in love with a person, only for that person to leave you 3 years later. Falling for the wrong person could mean being attracted to a person with a notorious reputation for changing partners like he or she changes clothes.

Why are those the wrong people to fall for? Because as a student, it’s not right by the rules of the school to fall for your professor? Because as a 32-year-old, the society does not approve of you if you were to date someone 14 years younger? Because as someone who’s looking for a person to spend the rest of your life with, that person was the wrong one because he or she left you in the end? Because as someone who should know better, falling for someone who would most likely leave you in the end, so he or she is clearly wrong for you?

How sure are you that this person is not the right person? Who’s to say a professor is the wrong person to date, just because you’re a student? Forget the rules, think about the possibility. Who’s to say that a 14 year gap makes a bad relationship between two people? If the person you have been with for 3 years suddenly becomes ‘wrong’ because he or she left you, why were you with that person in the first place? Because there was that possibility that he or she could be the ‘right’ one, isn’t it? Who’s to say the notorious playboy or playgirl would not be a changed person after dating you? Unlikely, but the possibility is there, yes?

The point (think) am making is that we cannot know for sure if someone is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ based on their age, race, reputation, or personality. How can opposites attract then? How can some people find life partners with so much in common then?

Another point am making is that circumstances determine the outcome of a relationship, or the possibility of it. Someone you see yourself spending the rest of your life with at the moment, may not be how you feel the next day or year due to the circumstances. If a couple goes through many obstacles in their relationship and they are still together, it proves that they are committed enough to each other to withstand whatever comes their way; that is the outcome of the circumstances. If a couple breaks up after many disagreements, it proves that one or both are not committed enough to continue the relationship, due to a change in feelings or circumstances; that is the outcome.

Guess am saying there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ person. There is no The One. There’s just mutual commitment between two people who are determined to work at their relationship, no matter how ‘wrong’ or ‘mismatched’ they may seem to themselves or other people.

So don’t dismiss someone based on your stereotyped impression, prejudices, fears, whatever. Everyone is different, even if they may have similar traits. Anyone and everyone has the potential to be the… ‘right’ one – it’s the circumstances that helps you determine it. It’s like trying on clothes. You’re a size M in one store, but a size S or L in another store. You just have to try.

Hopefully, you would get it right. No – hopefully, circumstances will lead you to a fruitful relationship with someone.

by Sulz

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

me - 32 floor height - earth quake

exactly ... what 1st thing on your mind if u're on 32nd floor when earth quake is happen????
Today, I didn't go to work because I had a cold and I had a plan some time in the afternoon, to see a doctor and do a check up. Came back home from the hospital, my dad asked me to go with him to the office to do some stuff; a report that I have not done with (I'm doing part time at my dad's office as well). We just got at the office, I checked my mail, and I sat down at my table ... then my secretary at the office said ... "do u feel the building's shaking?" I said "yes." then I looked at my curtain in my room... it's moving, then I looked at the door, the door's office is swinging back and forth as well ... then I called my dad from the other room, he was calm at first, because he thought it's not gonna be long and bad, but we felt the shaking is getting stronger and stronger .... we all panic ... we quickly ran out to the hall .. no body is out, then we went back in to the office .. the shaking is still hadn't stop ... My dad tried to open the elevator's door, then I said not to go down with that ... we're going with the stairs (the emergency exit). all the way down, I prayed ... pray that we can get down safely. Still the shaking hadn't stop when we run down the stairs. And finally we arrived downstairs safely ... felt relief but still my body shaking from the shock and from running so far. we're saved .... the bulding officeers announced through the mic, that the earth quake's over, but they're still waiting for a confirmation from BMG (geologist dept. of Indonesia) if there'll be no followed earth quake, and we're save to go in to the building again.

looking back from what I've just experienced, life is more appriciated when we're facing death, and I personally, often times forget to remember God in my good and happy times, hopefully this can be a shock therapy for my "me-God relationship" .. before when people ask .. "aren't u afraid of earth quake ... 32nd floor??" I replied, "nope, when it's the time to die .. u'll die" But then I experienced it right on 32nd floor, I was scared like hell, and shouting in my head "God help!!!!!"

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

discipline - HELP

I have an 8 year old sister. I left her for college when she was 3 yrs. I have no idea how my mom discipline her all these times, but she would become so ignorant and have no initiatif even for her self. However, I'm trying to fix this. as much as possible I try not to make her fear me, but sometimes I reach my limits and end up scared her in order to get her attention and obey.
Right now, my mom stress about how she would take money from my mom's room/bag/wallet for her shopping. I admit, that we never give her allowance or money, but we always give her snacks, or anything she needed instead. We purposely do that, so she won't buy snacks outside, that would make her sick (she gets sick easily). After she steals, she lies. It hurts me, this happen to my own sister. I really have no idea how to deal with this or how should we treat this problem. I always think that this probably an impact that her friends bring to her, and it make me feel like she needs to move to another school (better one with high discipline). really, is it necessary? where should I start to fix this?


hi friends in thailand or whereever you are,

In times like these ... I miss you all , I miss our bounding times , I miss our crazyness , I miss everything about us :(

I miss you ... I miss you ... I miss you ... muahhhhh


Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Birthdays used to be my most favorite moment of life; lots and lots of gifts and cakes, until I took some time to think just about it ... birthdays are actually a count down to your life to the end hahahahah ... how scary.

n'ways, that's not the point. The point is ... I got to start with "what my future life would be" then do something about it to make it real.

Isn't it????